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LightSeed.com > Self-Empowerment Center > Articles > Energy Monitoring

Energy Monitoring

by Bobbi Gay

There was a time in my life when I was ill with chronic mono for two years. This dramatic loss of energy caused me to make important changes in my life. I was desperate to feel energy again. And so, I began to look at how I might do that.

At first I began noticing my patterns. The telltale signs that I was losing energy took a few forms that I learned to identify. The most noticeable thing was a sinking sensation in my solar plexus. If I was agreeing to do something I didn't want to do, I'd feel it. If I wasn't being renewed by who I was with or what I was doing, I'd quickly feel drained and restless. I learned that if I had to pretend to be enjoying myself with someone, I'd later feel tired. I found out that before this, I didn't distinguish between having a good time and seeming to have a good time. I didn't really assess the quality of an experience or interaction, in order to decide if I was going to do it, or repeat it again.

What I learned was that my body was a great ally. It would literally tell me where I was losing the energy. At one point about a year or two into my explorations, my therapist and I were talking about a long term commitment I was considering. I mentioned to her that whenever I considered a major commitment, I was aware of a fear that I'd get sick and be unable to finish the commitment. She asked me how many classes and performances I had missed in the last two years.

This was one of the first times I clearly became aware of a limiting belief. As I thought about the question I was surprised to realize that in the two year period, I had never missed one event that truly excited me. I hadn't had the experience of missing anything I deemed vital in several years and yet, just below the level of awareness was an unrealistic fear.

I realize now that the extreme stress of the illness encoded that fear. For two years I had chronic fatigue and an additional litany of illness that were incapacitating. Time after time I would commit to things only to be laid low. My overdeveloped integrity made canceling painful. All this encoded with a belief that I couldn't trust my own energy to be there when it was needed.

I got something on a very deep level after looking back at my health history. I just knew with great power that I needed to notice my excitement level about various pursuits and options. I decided to follow my excitement and focus on fully involving with whatever my excitement was. This didn't mean abandoning my children and partying every night. I did notice however, that in order to be excited by child rearing I needed to develop my own way entirely. I also needed to play and feel irresponsible, it excited me to reclaim my lost childhood and feel alive after so mach illness, stress, and physical pain.

As I consciously gave myself permission to want and be, I felt freer and more energetic. I realize now that I never would have been able to shoulder the responsibilities I now bear without having that second childhood. All this prepared me for the time when I came into contact with the work of Stanislav Grof. This eventually resulted in much travel and training, all of which would have been exactly the kind of thing which I formerly feared planning.

Body Signals

• A sense of uneasiness when planning or committing to activities which don't feed you.
• A knot in the solar plexus or gut when planning or committing to activities which don't nurture.
• A drained feeling when you hang up from talking with someone or part company.
• A sagging in the heart when contemplating any activity.
• A resentment toward others or a feeling of obligation.
• A " hit " or body felt awareness that you just agreed to something not your excitement.
• A feeling of emptiness when futuring about a given event or relationship, usually the chest area.
• A stooping of body posture when considering an obligation.
• A drained feeling before an event.

We each come here to live out a dream that our soul holds dear. We are given vital energy to sustain us in exploring this beautiful planet and her beings. When we spend our energy on this pursuit we are rewarded with more energy. This is the concept of synergy and flow. The soul's energy synergizes the human energy field, and a flow is established. Nature rewards connecting to the source with good feelings and feelings of strength and power. We feel vitally alive when we are using our energy to live the "big life" our very own intimate soul wants to gift us with.

For many reasons, however we lose our connection to source energy. This always boils down to the many forms of fear which results in contraction. Contraction AWAY from source. We lose touch with our life dream when flow stops. The following list is designed to be helpful to people who are interested in detecting where and how they are losing vital energy. Once you discover that you are losing energy in an area of the body, ex. the solar plexus, call that energy back to you and imagine it settling up and down the length of your spine. This is your "rod of power." You need your power to have a good and satisfying life! If you don't claim your power somebody else surely will.

Vital Questions About Vitality

• What do I get out of this activity? If I decide to do this thing, what can I get out of it? Can this activity be a win / win situation for everybody? Sometimes an obligatory situation can be used for self observing, that puts the locus of control back on you. You can't wait for an advocate to save you in this world, That never works out, you must place high value on your time and energy. For that is the fuel for launching your life dreams.
  
  
• What do I get from spending my valuable time with this person?
  
  
• Can I be with this person without wearing a mask?
  
  
• Does the person I'm planning to spend time with know how to be intimate and real?
  
  
• Are there a lot of shoulds and musts in this situation?... or with this person or people? Judgment and conformity are draining. It takes a lot of energy to suppress spontaneity, control body movements and emotions etc. Most of this is linked to the belief that what's important is what other people think and see. As you can see, it would be more empowering to restate the belief with self at center.
  
  
• How much of my energy does it take to live up to the expectations of others? If believing what my family believes is costing me energy, am I willing to hold my own truth?
  
  
• Do I often feel used by others? Maybe the feeling of being used is trying to tell me that I am giving too much power and attention to another. Rather than cast myself as the victim I can stop giving so much (thus breaking the pattern) and work with an affirmation that puts the locus of control with me. Ex. "I give freely and receive freely, I allow flow in my life."
  
  
• When I find myself in unpleasant circumstances, do I notice physical sensations that tell me where I'm losing my power? There is often a queasy feeling in the solar plexus when losing energy. Other sensations might be: a sinking sensation in the heart, solar plexus, or gut. A tightening of the jaw and neck and shoulder muscles. These cues can be used consciously as indicators that you are losing energy. Once you know this you can determine what's going on that triggered the sensation. But don't stop there, say the situation is feeling judged. I might ask myself, what must I be believing in order to be feeling this way?" In this way you can flush out limiting beliefs that are operating out of awareness. Ex. "I feel tension in my solar plexus when she frowns like that. I must believe she dislikes me, or thinks I'm bad or wrong. Further I must believe that her disapproval can cost me energy. If I choose to pull back my energy and attention to me, she can't hurt me or drain me. What really matters is what I think about myself."

Sometimes pulling your energy back means to disengage and remove yourself from the scene. Although it could simply mean focusing inwardly on the breath to make it slow and even. In this way tense social situations where you might feel compelled to fill a social void with insincere offers, or irrelevant chatter pass easily. You are at the center of your own life and all is well. Nobody owes you anything and conversely you don't owe others a diminished Self.

Beliefs seem to have relative merit. Certain beliefs cost a lot to maintain. An example from my life would be an over invested belief in the whole romantic love thing. Much of my personal energy, the energy that gets this web site done or doesn't was tied up in resisting what was, while demanding what wasn't. In this way I squandered my precious life-force and had a crappy time of it. I had a belief that the highest expression of love was romantic behavior. As I reframed that, many sources of love deepened and / or appeared. I let go of demands for things to be other than they were and guess what? I now have a quality of attention and care that exceeds what I held in my head as ideal.

Positive beliefs generate energy. Positive thoughts attract positive people and situations. Positive beliefs require little investment and pay a high dividend. This is because perceived helplessness is the most energy sapping condition. To take dominion over the mind is to regain some perceived sense of control. There is enormous power in the ability to assume there is a way to meet any given circumstance and you will find it.

Studies were done on holocaust survivors in order to learn from their life experiences. Victor Frankel who was a survivor himself found there was one thing that determined how well people recovered and renewed their lives after the war. Those who found meaning in the experience went on to live well. Those who remained in the victim stance in some ways never escaped imprisonment.

So I repeat... some thoughts are like good food, they nourish and sustain. In order to have authentic power you have to jettison what no longer works, what no longer energetically "feeds" you. Anything that keeps you from the experience of your personal power needs to be lovingly released. This process of letting go is directed by inner being who knows what needs to happen and when. It is part of the map and it spans the arenas of body/mind/spirit/ and emotions. As you become more coherent you develop authentic power and it's corresponding energy. This is the quality and quantity of energy it takes to fuel a vision.

You will find that intimacy renews and falseness deadens. In this context what I mean by intimacy is the ability to show and/or share who you really are with another. It also means being receptive to whoever unfolds before you. It is an exchange and therefore it has a synergistic quality. Falseness has a wooden inanimate quality. Energy doesn't flow and neither do good warm feelings. By monitoring how real you are you can tell what's going on. If all you're getting is a mask look out. If you feel so judged that you can't be real, look out.

Resources for Energy Monitoring

1. One of the most helpful tools in energy monitoring is energy awareness in general. I recommend a channeled book called Personal Power Through Awareness by Sanaya Roman. This is a channeled book which seems foreign to some but the material has a rare purity. This was personally enormously helpful to me as were all her other books. The material is practical, easily understood and integrated. It feels like you are developing a natural capacity to become energy aware with the able guidance of Sanaya Roman.
   
   
2. Begin to learn how to identify positive states in body, mind, spirit, and emotions. This is your indicator that what you are doing is most in alignment with who you are. Learn what does it for you and do more of it.
   
   
3. The tapes series Energy Anatomy is also very helpful in becoming energy aware and literate. Carolyn Myss will ably educate you on what you are doing with your energy that costs you. We can be drained by people, institutions, and beliefs. Myss empowers you to use your precious lifeforce to renew your body and life. Also available as a book.
   
   
4. To be shocked into recognition of how the body responds to what you believe and say to yourself read Your Body Believes Every Word You Say. This one will rock your sense of what's possible. A real opener.
   
   
5. If you are losing energy to a limiting belief, such as "Men hurt me." I suggest using the information in our Process for Shifting Limiting Belief Patterns article.
   
   
6. If you are losing your energy to a difficult person I'd suggest the tape and the accompanying booklet Mental Shielding to Brush Off Hostility / Book and Cassette by Richard Driscoll.
   
   
7. Victor Frankel was both a holocaust survivor and psychiatrist. His work clearly demonstrated that the context that you put around something will strongly determine direction and outcome. This work was done in cooperation with holocaust survivors. Man's Search for Meaning.

 

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