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Growth and Healing for Couples:
The Love Relationship as a Transformative Vessel

by Bobbi Gay

Until I understood patterned behaviors, I often felt helpless and frustrated in my relationships. I assumed the same values drove both of us, despite much evidence to the contrary. "How can he be doing this???, was my frequent refrain. I thought like a victim and I was a victim.

I believed that if someone really loved me, they would know what I needed. I also believed that my loved one should want to give it to me. Often I didn't even know exactly what "it" was. I knew I meant well in relationship, and assumed the same of my partners. I accepted empty apologies and promises of change again and again. I felt alive when fighting and dead at other times. I wanted all good things to come to me, but without negotiation and process.

These were my relationship patterns, and they were doing me. I didn't know it then, but much of the frustration and pain I felt was from self abandonment. I put the locus of control outside of self. This condemns us to be perpetually out of the "flow". This thing called flow is an internal state.

I was too invested in a notion called romantic love. I resisted what was, demanding it be otherwise. I get tired just thinking about it. Flow rejuvenates and resistance to flow is tiring.

There are ways of relating that work better than others, and there are ways of thinking that bring joy back to relating. This tape set is about finding these new ways in your own relationship. They would also be useful for self evaluation between relationships.

Issues discussed:

• Identifying patterns that no longer serve you
• Understanding the role of trance behavior in relationship
• Understanding the expression of shadow in relationship
• Interrupting the patterns
• Pattern interruption only takes one willing individual
• Effective communication
• Releasing accumulated pain and resentment
• Sexuality issues which may need attention
• Getting the emotional truth out there
• Getting the emotional needs of both partners met
• Abandonment [a major boogie man for couples]
• Flow and mutuality
• Truth as the highest value
• Allowance and it's role in loving relationship
• Making it safe for each other
• Handling in-laws and other realities
• Balancing being alone and being in a couple
• Boundaries
• Dealing with anger
• Projection-What is it? How to stop it from damaging your relationship
• Old stuff gets overlaid on current couple stuff
• Making the distinctions between what's old (and predates the relationship you have now) and current conditions.
• Working within self on recurring patterns that predate the partner
• Your partner reflects to you what you really believe about relationship
• Looking at what you really believe
• Changing limiting belief
• Fear of change
• A new model for relating
• Guided reveries

Growth and Healing for Couples:
The Love Relationship as a Transformative Vessel
A Two Tape Set

by Bobbi Gay

Order # 501- 055

 

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And, hey, if you feel inspired, drop me a line at Bobbi@LightSeed.com
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